No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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