you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
