I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize