Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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