I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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