question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
