Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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