Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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