Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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