I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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