okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
