I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
