I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
