So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
