its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
