I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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