i just google imaged poop.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
