Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
