I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
