i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
