Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
