she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
