So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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