ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
