its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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