Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
