is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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