Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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