I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
