nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
