Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
