I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
