This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
