you guys were way drunker than both of me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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