i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize