Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
