Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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