Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
