brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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