dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
