Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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