We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
