My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
A bitchslap is in order.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
