So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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