You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
