He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
MIDGETS
????
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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