At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
