tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
