Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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