Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
