He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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