OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
