I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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