how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize