I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize