I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
