bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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