all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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