He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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