I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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