If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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