She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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